It's going to be ok

Years ago in a dark bedroom.....

"Andreea, why are you crying?"

"I'm crying because he died and I never got to fix things….and now it’s too late.... and I think it'll never be ok now."

"Well, it's going to be hard for a little while and some of the pain will stay forever.  But what if I told you that, in time, everything is going to be ok, would that help?"

"How do you know that it's going to be ok?"

"What if I told you, I was you a few years from now and that I've lived through  all of this, I've seen the future and I can tell you this will pass, and you will be ok."

"You're me?  How do I know that?"

"I can prove it in a million ways, tell you all the things that are going on in your mind now, things you don't yet understand, but you don't need to know that, you just need to trust me. Can you do that?  Can you be ok knowing it'll be ok?"

"I'm not sure....."

A little while after but still years ago in a dark library corner at 1 AM

"Andreea, why are you crying?"

"I'm crying because I simply don't understand this subject and the final is tomorrow and I think I'm going to fail."

"Well, what if I told you that you are right, you are going to fail and not just this class, next semester you're going to fail another class.  But what if I also told you that none of it matters, you're going to graduate, you're going to get a great job and no one but you, is ever going to care about failing a class or two along the way, would you stop crying?"

"I'm going to fail! And then fail another class, how horrible.  I've never failed anything before!"

"Did you hear any of the rest of what I said, it's all going to be ok, better than ok actually, doesn't that matter?"

"I don't know, I wish I didn't have to fail though.  And how do you know all this?"

"I know because I'm you, you a few years later, you that’s lived the failures and come out on top."

"How do I know that's true?"

"I can tell you how you're feeling right now, this isn't just about failing this class; it's not just about not knowing how to fail; you feel like you've disappointed so many people around you, you feel lost.  But again, I can tell you that everything will work itself out. Will that stop you from crying or from worrying?"

"I'm not sure....."

A few years later on my sofa staring out into nothingness 

"Andreea, why are you crying?"

"I'm crying because we just broke up and I'm worried I'll never find love again.  I'm worried I made the wrong choice and now I can't go back."

"Well what if I told you that I've seen the future and I can tell you that you didn't make the wrong choice; and that you will find love again, an incredible love, and in time you'll remember only the good parts and struggle to remember the sadness that you feel right now; would that help?"

"How do I know that's true?"

"Because I can tell you that you know deep down in your broken heart that you made the right choice, it's hidden under all the pain; and I know that, you know and we also know that it's going to be ok"

"Ok so why are you here?"

"I'm here to try to help you, to tell you it’s going to be ok; will you be ok knowing that I’ve seen the future and that it’s all going to workout?”

"I'm not sure....."

Random years in some random airport in……Madagascar….South Africa…. Thailand….Germany…..Florence….Florence…..Brussels….Everywhere

"Andreea, why are you crying?"

"I'm crying because I’m leaving, leaving him…..leaving her….leaving them…..and I don’t know if I’ll ever be back, I don’t know if I’ll ever see him…. her… them… again.

"Well what if I told you that the ones that matter you will see again and the ones that don’t you’ll remember fondly and that you’re going to have many more great adventures.  Would that help?”

“I’m not sure….”

Not so long ago in some lonely space crying

“Andreea, why are you crying?”

“I’m crying because, she died and I never got to see her again.  I’m crying because we broke up and I don’t know if I’ll find love again…. I’m crying because I’m about to leave… because I’m lost and I’m not sure which direction my life should take and it’s an all too familiar feeling........and I feel like by now I should know.”

“I see, so cry, cry it out.”

“Do you think it’s going to be ok?”

“I’m not sure that what I tell you really matters.”

“Aren't you me, me from the future who has seen that everything will turn out ok?”

“No, I’m not going to tell you any of that, I've tried before and it didn't help.”

“So why are you here?”

“To remind you of how many things you’ve survived and to tell you that it's not knowing the future that is your garantee; you are your garantee and that's all you need.” So are you going to be ok?"

“I think so”


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