Scar tissue

Someone/Anyone: 'Wow so how many countries have you visited?'

Me: 'Um... 55 by now I think'

Someone/Anyone:  'Wow that's amazing and where do you live now?'

Me:  'Um.... it's complicated.... Montreal, Belgium, Italy....'

Someone/Anyone: ' Wow!! You're so lucky!'

Yes I am so lucky, I've seen so many wonderful places, experienced so many incredible feelings, 'lived and worked' on 4 different continents and of course I've met so many incredible people who have touched my life in one way or another and given something to always remember.  I've been living my dream really....

The thing that the proverbial 'they' never tell you about living out your dreams through travel and world exploration is that with every great experience and every great meeting comes the inevitable great goodbye.

Now the human heart is like the Wolverine (X-men) of organs because it heals and forgets the pain in time and allows you to re-open yourself to new meetings and new loves despite the risk of new goodbyes, but like any healing organ, the pain still leaves behind it's scar tissue and when new flesh opens up to new experiences, it remembers the slight pain of the last one.

So yes it is a privilege to see the world and say that you have people who love you in all 5 corners of the world but 1) you're never there enough for all of them.... never enough for your mom and your friends in Montreal.....never enough for your gay harem in Brussels.... never enough for the man you love which is always somewhere else.... never enough for your cousin and your godson.... your best friend and your goddaughter... and when you do see them afterwards comes the goodbye....then there are all the meetings and all the times you fall in love with people who you know you'll never see again and the farewell goodbyes..... 2) by living in so many places at once in your heart you forget where you actually belong and where you actually feel at home, you become the homeless with 15 homes, the eternal nomad with 15 families.

So yes the privilege but sometimes 'With the birds I do share this lonely view' (Chili Peppers)


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