And the seasons change, change....change

Here I am back in my old room at my mom`s, I have moments when for just a second I think I`m still in school and I`ll call up one of my chickies and have a movie night or go to some silly bar for another crazy night of dancing....
It’s strange how much we associate places with memories especially those places that don’t change. Change is a funny thing, it’s something you can’t help and it sneaks up on you without you even noticing.
My relationship to change is also a strange thing. One wouldn’t say that someone who leaves to travel for a year then decides to go live in Europe for an indefinite time doesn’t embrace change but to be honest I fear or have strong apprehensions towards change. I think it’s because I worry that certain changes that I want and even seek will bring one some that I don’t want.
If I had been asked before leaving for Brussels to be there for more than a year I probably wouldn`t have gone for fear of missing too much at home and I would have missed out on the great experience I am having there now, however it still does scare me a little.
Even happy events, such as weddings and pregnancies always seem to come to me with a little sorrow, not that the event itself isn`t wonderful but at moments I’m selfish. Can I keep my best friend if she gets married, moves away and has babies? Can I keep my hockey nights and ski trips if everyone is married off? If I live in Europe? I’m so going to miss my neighbourhood....will there be 10 McDonald’s and Starbucks’ in Outremont by the time I come back?
Of course in almost all cases, the apprehension and scenarios we create in our heads are far less scary in reality. Friendships do live on even though they change and mean something else in time, places change but the things you love about them are still changes and before you even notice it, you love it all over again for what it has become. Of course we will always reminisce on the good old days.....and they were great....but there is so much more to come


Popular Posts