Whisper words of wisdom

So I mentioned in a previous entry how sometimes I have trouble saying goodbye or simply letting things end. It`s really difficult for someone from the outside to understand what the big deal is with going home after all this.

-Don`t you miss home?

-Aren`t you happy that you`re going to see your family all your friends?.....sleep in your own bed, your own shower? I mean you can`t do this forever right? You knew you`d have to go back one day so then what`s the big deal?

So yes I understand all these thoughts and at the same time every long term traveler I`ve met has had he same apprehensions. I've heard of people going through serious depressions when coming home.... ok depression is definitely not my style but what is it all about really?

It's a strange feeling, in one sense it's a little like the mourning process, yes I understand there are much more serious reasons to mourn than this so please take everything I'm saying with the proverbial grain of salt. For one, for so long this project occupied 75% of my thoughts, my time and effort and now that it's over what next? It's mourning a certain lifestyle I had gotten accustomed to, one where every day brought new meetings and possibilities, brought new experiences, new places.....new ideas....sometimes even a new me or rather a new hidden side of me.

Then there is the idea that after seeing and living everything one sees and lives in such circumstances....well there is a certain distance between you and the people you left back home. Like everyone was on the same bus and you got off and took another route to get to your destination. So you worry that somehow maybe you've changed too much compared to everyone else that you really see things differently and there's no going back.

So these are just some questions that are going through my mind, it's not that I don't miss everyone or my wonderful city it's just that it's not the same anymore.....but baby steps.


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