Of course after traveling for so long you inevitably have the luxury of time. Time for what? Time to think really about it all. About life, love, happiness and mainly about the person you are or want to be?
So this is a little of what I have come up with.
I will never be the type of girl who can wear short shorts, I will never be soo skinny that my thighs don't touch....I"ll never really like my thighs actually.
I will never be described as the quiet girl with the cute little nose. I will never be 5'7". I will never be able to sing or program.
I spend most of my time now thinking about how i could be a better person. I have done many things that I am not proud of. I have not always been the perfect friend (gamines? Rico? Liz? Joyce?...) I have definitely not been the perfect girlfriend and I have not been the perfect daughter, not to my mom or even to my sick dad.
There are many things which I have done which I regret and would like to undo....but I think that's normal and truly I am sorry for all the wrongs I have done towards others. Of course no one is a Saint but it doesn't mean we can't reflect on our wrongs and want to be a better person in the future.
I"m not sure what being a better person really means? Making people around you happy? Making yourself happy? doing good things? Being happy with your job?......Anyone have an idea?
I think my overall best quality is that I want to make the people around me happy most of the time anyway. I have truly come to love life and want to share it with everyone. There are so many great things in this world and I've only scratched the surface.
I am not perfect but I can honestly say that I like myself for better or for worse.....there are moments where I am prouder than others :) The thing I am most grateful for is the people in my life, you guys are the best.
What else? Oh I will never like my skin.....and I'll do/eat just about anything if you tell me it's good for my skin ( Ange I know you're with me on this one). I really can't stand rats. I get overwhelmed lately in big cites, like my senses are too stimulated.
I think I'm very scared of getting my heart broken, not just in a couple setting but in any friendship really. Sometimes I'm dishonest in order to spare someone's feelings even if i know it's best to be truthful in the end.
I love to eat....it's just the best. I love meeting people and I think I'm good at it. I hate being hungover but yet still overdrink at times. I say the stupidest things when I'm drunk and then to make up for it I do the splits.... like spreading your legs is the solution (sorry for being vulgar).
Ok I think I could go on and on in all the stupid and not so stupid things I am but I"ll stop now. I'm not sure I have really changed while being away. I'd like to think I've detached myself a little from all the materialistic needs we have back home but not that much really.
I'd like to think I see the bigger picture now and let little things bother me much less....and that overall I'm a very happy person. You can all tell me what you think when I get home.